Written October 29, 2008

I've got a forbidden future
Lies of ommission permeate the air
Surveys ask "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
The answer: I don't
I will be someone else in five years

Not the person I am today
This hardened shell with a fragile heart
My defense for sadness is anger
If only I could show my fears without making it a tackle
Personal foul
And I'm mixing up the games
Again

I watched the curb rush towards me and I felt my rage
Like a diamond that slices through glass
A diamond in the rough you still say at this stage?
A diamond in the rough, my ass

Wading and wandering
Waiting and I'm wondering

Who will I be tomorrow?
In five years I don't see myself

In Passing/Written May 27, 1999

The man came from nowhere
He appeared with only a whisper and a smile
A breath of mists and curiousities
Alone and disregarded
His eyes held a glimpse of warm memories and forgotten futures
His smile was crooked as he laughed at the boy dancing across the street
His steps were paced to the tune of the old love song he whistled
Disruption clouded his happiness
I caught a glimpse of smile fade into a look of desperation, then return
As if he was trying to deny the realities of the world as he walked along the street
Trying to grasp happiness of youth
Trying to avoid the thoughts of bills and tiredness and too many cigarettes
I know that look so well
I have lived in it
The man passes with only a whisper and a smile
And I smile in hopes of passing it along to some other stranger in this world of broken dreams

Written August 16th, 2006

floating on a cloud, then the damn cloud crashes into a tower
if only i was locked into a tower like that bitch
she inspires poetry and stories and love songs
i'm just the girl on the cloud
the cloud that crashed
nobody speaks of her
of me
the girl once so happy and alive
the girl once understanding
standing on a shag rug
-it felt good between her toes-
typical
the rug was pulled from under her
temporary insanity they called it
temporary, my ass
like coffee it was always brewing
yet not quite as strong of a scent
more like lemon Lipton tea
you smell something but aren't sure what it is
subtle insanity
trauma in the childhood
drama in the heart
cut it out!
she asks
with no surgeon volunteering to do the deed
festering and growing
i'm the girl on the cloud that crashed into the tower
i'm the girl you've forgotten
i'm the girl with her hopes and dreams that never make it to reality
wrinkles on hands and faces show signs of life
wrinkles on the pages show signs of interest
one emotion, two emotion, three emotion FLOOR
one shadow, two shadow, three shadow MORE
Darkness Is Understandable